Well, I managed to make it through another Christmas! I say it like that because it is always so difficult without my mother being here. She passed in April of 2001 due to complications from pneumonia. She was a life-long smoker as well, and had severe emphysema. I actually quit smoking myself around 1998 mostly due to seeing her rapid decline after the initial emphysema diagnosis. It truly is a slow death. Her lungs were so fragile by 2001 that all it took was a bout of pneumonia - one that she just couldn't recover from.
So, with that being said, the holidays are always difficult. It was last year that I purchased a beautiful fake tree at Lowe's and put it up in the living room, using decorations that are pretty much all made by my sister. Those decorations had not been used in six years. I just couldn't get into the spirit and it just isn't the same. Christmas was always such a wonderful holiday in our household growing up and even since my move to Atlanta. So many great memories.
But it's those memories that help ease the sadness I always feel. Unfortunately, I don't think it will ever go away.
But you know, life has a habit of going on no matter what you feel and what you think (which certainly beats the alternative). I look forward to the next holiday which is New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. Nothing ever spectatular is planned or expected. It's just a time to enjoy some traditions I've set for myself - a delightful lobster on New Year's Eve and then those wonderful black eye peas on New Year's Day. I truly think every year gets better so that is always a welcome anticipation. Every year except 2001!
Best wishes for a wonderful 2008!